Honestly, I can’t believe I’m doing this again. I was ready to retire. Ready to ride off into the sunset, never to spend another season making picks week after week for a third of the calendar year. Yet here we are. I stand here before you, ready to embrace the call of mediocrity that is my writing and prediction skills. But I’m not alone; I’ve got tools at my disposal: bad puns, generic takes, and a general distaste for the Cowboys. This is the moment we wait all spring and summer for. This is Week 1. Let’s hop in:

Highlight Matchups
I was gonna break down every game, but nobody wants to see that. Here’s the games I think will be the most interesting:
Ravens @ Chiefs
Packers @ Eagles
Jaguars @ Dolphins
Cowboys @ Browns
Rams @ Lions
Jets @ Niners
And sneaky Cardinals @ Bills
We’ll see you Tuesday for the results